Brother / Policeman / Defence attorney / British pedestrian / Mr. Harrison (Apricot) / The Colonel / 'Hell's Grannies' policeman / Jimmy Blankensop / Sir Edward Ross / Restaurant patron #1 / Letter Writer / Oliver St. John Mollusk / Mountie / Town Guild Lady

Announcer / Hungarian Citizen / self - Defence Teacher / Sir George Head / Policeman / Interviewer / Mr. Praline / Second General / Christopher Columbus / Mungo the Cook / Bank Robber / Accountant #2 (falling past the window) / Vocational Guidance Counselor / Vivian Smith Smythe Smith / Mountie / Town Guild Lady

Self-Defence Nun / Flasher / Uncle Sam / Caterpillar Man / Sign Holder / Conrad Poohs

Prosecutor / Marriage Counselor / Arthur Nudge / Self-defence student #4 (interested in pointed sticks) / 'Hell's Grannies' analyst / Arthur Wilson / Arthur Wilson Two / Nightclub Emcee / Linkman / First General / Restaurant Manager / Lingerie Shop Owner / Accountant #1 (falling past the window) / Fairy Godmother / Rita Fairbanks / Simon Zinc Trumpet Harris / Mountie / Lady With Cookbook

Stage Manager / Tobacconist / 2nd Hungarian Man / Squire / Self-defence student #3 / Tenant #1 / Flasher / Mouse Organist Ken Ewing / Fat Soldier / Waiter / Nude Organist / Brian / Nigel Incubator Jones

Gumby / Man with tape recorder / Phrasebook Author / Arthur Pewtey / Second self - defence student / Second Tenant / Lost His Wallet / Shrill Petrol Announcer / Milkman / Ernest Scribbler / Pet shop employee / Lumberjack / Headwaiter Gilberto / Herbert Anchovy / Blackmail Presenter / Gervais Brookhamster / Town Guild Lady

Dierdre Pewtey / Storyteller / Milkman Collector / Restaurant Patron #2 / Elsbeth

Best Girl

Distraught Mother

Original Music Composer

Executive Producer

Screenplay

Screenplay

Screenplay

Screenplay

Screenplay

Screenplay

Editor

Director

Producer

Executive Producer

Special Effects

Art Direction

Makeup Artist

Production Manager

Director of Photography